Bullshit-Free Recipes

I don't know about you but I don’t want to hear long stories about how your kids won’t eat beets. I don’t want to see the step-by-step process of how you personally massage your kale. Do I really need to scroll through 20 photos and pop up ads before the payoff? I don't have time for that shit. Give me some text I can view on my phone so I can remember all the shit I have to buy and the things i have to do to make something not suck.

Need more hand holding and influencer content? Go watch Youtube. I won't judge.

For now this site is created for me to get everything out of my phone notepad and into the hands of inquisitive friends and family.

These recipes have been adapted from many recipes i've found all over the web.

Air fryer roasted broccoli
  • broccoli
  • olive oil
  • salt
  • lemon juice
  • parmesan cheese
  1. Cut a head of broccoli into florets and toss with lemon juice and olive oil
  2. Spray air fryer basket with olive oil
  3. Air fry at 380° for about 8-10 minutes, Shake after 3 minutes. Then toss occasionally. Leave In longer if you want it crispier. The broccoli should get a little charred.
  4. Remove from basket and season with salt, pepper, and parmesan cheese to taste
Air fryer brussel sprouts w/bacon
  • brussel sprouts
  • olive oil
  • salt
  • bacon
  1. Cut the tips off the brussels then cut them in half and peel off any bad leaves. Wash them in a colanders
  2. Place them in a bowl and toss with olive oil to coat
  3. Place bacon on top of the brussels so the fat drips over them for the first half of cooking
  4. Air fry at 350° for 10-12 minutes, stopping at 5 minutes and 8 minutes to shake the basket
Air fryer buffalo cauliflower
  • 1 medium head of cauliflower cut into florets
  • ½ cup flour
  • 1 tsp garlic powder
  • ½ tsp salt
  • ¼ tsp pepper
  • ½ cup water
  • ½ cup of franks hot wing sauce
  • 2 tbsp butter melted
  1. Mix dry ingredients together in a large mixing bowl, then add water so it becomes a thick batter
  2. Toss in florets and coat evenly
  3. Preheat on air fryer 400 then spray basket and florets with olive oil
  4. Air fry the battered florets for 10 minutes at 400° flipping occasionally with a spatula
  5. Melt butter and mix with wing sauce
  6. Take florets out and toss In wing sauce in a bowl. Put back into basket and spray with olive oil
  7. Air fry for 6 more minutes shaking the basket at least once.
  8. If they're not crispy enoguh for your liking put back in for a few more minutes.
Air fryer cauliflower tots
  • frozen riced cauliflower, 12oz bag
  • ½ cup grated parmesan
  • ½ cup shredded cheddar
  • 1 egg, lightly beaten
  • ½ cup panko or crumbed pork rinds
  • 1 tsp garlic powder
  • 1 tsp onion powder
  • Pinch of Cayenne pepper or paprika
  • Pinch of salt and pepper
  1. Microwave bag of cauliflower rice for 3 minutes or until the bags are lukewarm to the touch. Cut the corners and squeeze the bags to drain an excess water. Transfer to a paper towel or kitchen cloth and pat dry before adding to a large bowl.
  2. Add the spices, shredded cheese, and eggs to the cauliflower rice, stirring everything together.
  3. Add the breadcrumbs or pork rinds (crushed) to the rice mixture, folding everything together. Don't overmix or the cauliflower rice may turn mashed.
  4. Form a tater tot shape with your hands. Or use a tablespoon or small ice cream scooper to form each tot. This should make around 20 tots or so.
  5. Preheat air fryer to 400° to prevent sticking. Then spray the tray and airfry the tots for 3 minutes at 400°. Pull the basket out, turn tots over, and airfry for 3 more minutes.
Air fryer chicken karaage
  • boneless chicken breast or thighs
  • potato starch
  • salt
  • pepper
  1. Feel free to maranate the chicken ahead of time but make sure before you coat that you drain and pat the chicken dry
  2. Cut the chicken into bite-sized pieces
  3. mix in a bowl with potato starch and some salt and pepper
  4. Pre-heat the air fryer to 390°
  5. Spray the basket with olive oil then put chicken in air fryer and spray as well. Cook at 390° for 8-12 min flipping half way and then shaking a few more times during the process.
Air fryer chicken wings
  • flash frozen chicken wings (Costco)
  • (for sauce)
  • teriyaki sauce. (I like the Veri Veri from Soy Vay or Trader Joes version)
  • chili garlic sauce
  • Sriracha
  • soy sauce
  • honey
  1. In a small bowl combine all of the sauce ingredients to taste. Put in the fridge
  2. Place frozen chicken wings in the basket and insert into the air fryer. Avoid overcrowding.
  3. Air fry for 27 minutes at 380°. Turn the wings after 13 minutes with tongs. You can shake up a few times in between as well.
  4. When the time is up, increase the temperature to 400° and air fry for 6-8 more minutes until the skin is browned and crisp. Shaking the basket every few min.
  5. Transfer to a bowl with paper towels to remove excess grease, remove paper towels and then toss with sauce.
Air fryer crab rangoon
  • crab
  • cream cheese
  • green onion
  • soy sauce
  • wonton wrappers
  1. combine all ingredients in a bowl. You can find the right proportions for the consistnacy you like or the amount of crab you want to buy.
  2. Look up a Youtube video on how to form wontons.
  3. Preheat your airfryer to 380°
  4. Spray the fryer basket with olive oil and then spray the wontons. Air fry the wontons at 380° for 6 min flipping at least once and shaking a few times.
Air fryer eggrolls
  • egg roll wrappers
  • 1lb ground pork
  • teriyaki sauce. (I like the Veri Veri from Soy Vay or Trader Joes version)
  • chili garlic sauce
  • soy sauce
  • small head cabbage, shredded with food processor or (2 small bags pre-shredded)
  • shredded carrots
  • chinese 5 spice powder
  • black pepper
  1. Cook and brown the ground pork, then drain the fat
  2. Add the teriyaki sauce, black pepper and Chinese five spice. Incorporate then remove from wok.
  3. Sauté the cabbage and carrot mix and add a little soy sauce to get the mixture going.
  4. Sauté until everything softens then add the pork back into the wok then cook a little longer so everything incorporates.
  5. Cool the mixture. I usually put in the fridge.
  6. Fold the egg rolls using water to seal. Check out technique on YouTube.
  7. Spray the bottom of the air fryer with olive oil.
  8. Load the egg rolls being careful to leave some space.
  9. Spray the top of the egg rolls with olive oil spray.
  10. Cook on 390 for 8-10 minutes. Flipping over once half way through and spraying the top again.
Air fryer falafel
  • * 2 (15-ounce) cans chickpeas, rinsed and drained
  • ¼ cup fresh parsley
  • ¼ cup cilantro
  • 2 cloves garlic
  • 1 large shallot, chopped
  • 3 tbsp flour
  • 2 tbsp sesame seeds
  • 2 tsp ground cumin
  • 1 tsp coriander
  • 1 tsp paprika
  • juice of half a lemon
  • 1 tsp salt
  • hot water
  • spray olive oil
  • (For serving)
  • pita bread
  • lettuce
  • thinly sliced large tomato
  • thinly sliced red onion
  • thinly sliced cucumber
  1. In the bowl of a food processor, add the chickpeas, parsley, cilantro, garlic, shallot, flour, sesame seeds, cumin, paprika, lemon, and salt. Pulse until mixture comes together in a rough paste. It shouldn’t be completely smooth. You can add some hot water and continue mixing if it's too dry.
  2. If you have the luxury, transfer the falafel mixture to a bowl, cover and refrigerate for at least 1 hour or overnight. The chilled mixture will hold together better, making it easier to form the falafel patties.
  3. Shape the falafel mixture into tablespoon-sized discs or a bit larger, Repeat until you use all the falafel mixture.
  4. Spray the basket for your air fryer with olive oil. Add as many falafel discs into the basket as you can without them touching and spray them with olive oil very lightly. Air fry the falafel at 350°F˚ for 8 minutes. Flip and fry for another 6 minutes on the second side. Repeat until you've cooked all the falafel.
  5. Serve in a pita with the fresh veggies mentioned and a nice big helping of Tzatziki sauce (link it)
  6. Notes: I also used soaked dried chickpeas. You soak them for 24 hours. I heard it gave a better consistency and taste. Also you can add about ½ tsp of baking soda to the soaking water to help soften the dry chickpeas.
Air fryer fried shrimp
  • Frozen shrimp. Larger are better
  • flour
  • eggs
  • water
  • breadcrumbs
  • salt and pepper
  1. Defrosted frozen shrimp
  2. Preheat the air fryer to 370
  3. Then set up a breading station with 3 containers. First flour with salt and pepper, then egg with water and then panko.
  4. Bread the shrimp in the order mentioned.
  5. Spray the basket with olive oil then place the shrimp in the air fryer basket and spray them as well
  6. Air fry the shrimp at 370 for 8 minutes. Spraying aand flipping a few times during the process to acheive crispiness.
Air fryer pakora
  • 2 cups chickpea flour
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 2 tsp garam masala
  • 2 tsp cumin
  • ½ tsp turmeric
  • ½ tsp crushed red pepper
  • 2 cloves garlic minced or crushed
  • ½ head small cauliflower, chopped into small bite-size pieces (about 3 cups)
  • 1 medium onion, sliced into big strips
  • ½ cup peas (fresh/frozen)
  • 1 large carrot, grated
  • 1 small red potato, grated
  1. 1. In a large bowl, mix together dry ingredients. Stir in enough water to create a batter, almost pancake-batter consistency, but a little thicker. It usually takes me me about 1-2 cups of water. Don't add extra water. Let batter sit.
  2. Prepare veggies and then dump them all into the batter, mixing well to coat
  3. Pre-heat air fryer to 370 so the pakora won't stick
  4. Spray oil on the air fryer basket.
  5. I use my ¼ cup measuring cup to scoop piles into air fryer.
  6. Spray the pakora.
  7. Air fry on 370 for 7 min don’t flip or shake before then. They will form during this time.
  8. Flip and spray pakora
  9. Air fry for another 7 min flipping one more time halfway through
  10. Serve with yogurt sauce and/or cilantro mint chutney
Air fryer pork tenderloin
  • Pork tenderloin. We usually use the $5 package from TJs
  • (maranade)
  • Shaoxing Chinese Cooking Wine
  • teriyaki sauce. (I like the Veri Veri from Soy Vay or Trader Joes version)
  • chili garlic sauce
  • Sriracha
  • soy sauce
  • honey
  1. Put the tenderloin in a bag and add all maranade ingredients. Maranate for overnight or up to 1-2 days
  2. Preheat the air fryer to 400°
  3. Air fry the tenderloin for 10 min at 400°
  4. flip the tenderloin over and then pour some of the maranade over it
  5. Air fry the tenderloin for another 10 min at 400°. Flipping again at the 5 min mark and adding more maranade.
  6. Make sure the pork hits internal temperature of 145°-160°
  7. Let it rest for about 10 min before slicing
Kimchi pancakes
  • ½ cup potato starch
  • ½ cup all-purpose flour
  • 1 tsp garlic powder
  • ½ tsp baking powder
  • Pinch of sea salt
  • 1 heaping cup kimchi (about 10 ounces), plus ¼ cup kimchi juice
  • 2 scallions, chopped
  • 2 tbsp gochujang
  • 1 tbsp granulated sugar
  • 1 tsp fish sauce
  • 3 tbsp neutral oil, such as canola
  • (for dipping sauce)
  • ¼ cup citrus ponzu sauce
  • 1 tablespoon toasted white sesame seeds
  • 1 scallion, thinly sliced
  1. This recipe is Samin Nosrat's take on Pyeong Chang Tofu House's recipe.
  2. In a large bowl, whisk together potato starch, flour, garlic powder, baking powder and salt. Set aside.
  3. Dice kimchi into ½-inch pieces. In a medium bowl, stir together kimchi and kimchi juice, scallions, gochujang, sugar, fish sauce and ½ cup water. Add kimchi mixture to flour mixture, and stir to combine.
  4. Set a cast-iron pan over medium heat. When it’s hot, add 1 ½ tablespoons oil. When oil shimmers, add half the batter, and spread from the center out to the edges of the pan. After about 1 minute, once you sense the pancake is setting, use a thin metal spatula to make sure pancake is not sticking. When the bottom of the pancake is brown and the top fades from glossy to matte, after another 30 to 60 seconds, carefully flip the pancake using the metal spatula. (Alternatively, slide the pancake onto a rimless plate, and flip it back into the pan.) Continue cooking for another 60 to 90 seconds on second side until set, then carefully slide pancake onto a plate.
  5. Use remaining oil and batter to make a second pancake. Cut into wedges, and serve hot with chopped scallions and/or dipping sauce.
Korean-style pork meatballs
  • kimchi, and juice
  • carrots
  • garlic
  • gochujang
  • scallions
  • salt
  • soy sauce
  • ground pork
  • panko breadcrumbs
  • sesame seeds
  • (for glaze)
  • brown sugar
  • soy sauce
  • rice vinegar
  • gochujang
  • apricot preserve
  1. Preheat oven to 400°
  2. Add kimchi, kimchi juice, carrots, garlic, gochujang, scallions, salt, soy sauce to food processor and run on low until it becomes almost a paste.
  3. Combine this mixture in a bowl with the ground pork and mix with your hand.
  4. Then add the panko breadcrumbs until you get the desired meatball consistency
  5. Shape mixture into meatballs about the size of a golf ball
  6. Place the meatballs on a baking sheet lined with foil or parchment paper (avoid overcrowding) and bake at 400 for 15-20 minutes, or until they reach an internal temperature of 160°.
  7. Add all glaze ingredients to a small pot and reduce over med-low heat.
  8. Remove meatballs from the oven and brush on glaze
  9. Serve over rice with pickled carrots and daikon or other vegetables. Add more thinly sliced green onions and sprinkle with sesame seeds
  • 12 ounces light beer. I use Tecate or Modelo Especial
  • 12 ounces Clamato or tomato juice
  • 1 lime
  • 1 tbsp Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 tbsp soy sauce
  • 2 tsp hot sauce
  • ice
  • Tajin
  • salt
  1. Place enough salt and Tajin seasoning or chili powder in a wide, shallow dish to cover the bottom.
  2. Rub the rims of two glasses with the lime wedges (or use the reserved lime rinds) and dip them into the spicy salt mixture.
  3. Fill the glasses with ice and set aside.
  4. Divide the Worcestershire sauce, soy sauce hot sauce, lime juice, beer and Clamato juice into each glass. Mix well.
  5. Garnish with a lime wedge.
Pickled Carrots and Daikon (Đồ Chua)
  • carrots
  • daikon
  • ½ cup sugar
  • 2 teaspoons salt
  • 1 cups distilled white vinegar
  • 1 cups warm water (to dissolve the sugar)
  1. Julienne the carrots and the daikon radishes
  2. Place the carrots and daikon radishes in a large bowl. Sprinkle with some sugar and salt. Use your clean hands to toss the carrots and daikon with the salt and sugar until well coated.
  3. Continue to mix the carrots and daikon with your hands until they begin to soften, about 3 minutes. They are ready once you can bend a piece of daikon all the way over without it breaking
  4. Transfer the carrots and daikon to a colander, rinse with cool water and drain well.
  5. Make vinegar sugar mixture: In a 4 cup pyrex measuring cup mix together ½ cup of sugar, the white vinegar and the warm water, until the sugar dissolves. If you need to fill more containers just use the same basic ratio.
  6. Pack the daikon and carrots tightly into your jar. Pour over the pickling liquid to cover. Seal. Refrigerate.
  7. The pickles should sit at least overnight before eating; their flavor will improve with time. They should last 4 to 6 weeks in the refrigerator.
Garlic dill pickles
  • 4 cups water
  • 1 cup white vinegar
  • ¼ cup kosher salt
  • 1 tsp pickling spice
  • fresh dill
  • fresh garlic cloves
  1. Mix water, vinegar, salt and pickling spice. Heat to dissolve and make sure not to boil
  2. Cover bottom of jars with dill and rough cut garlic to taste
  3. Put cucumbers in jars then cover with liquid mixture.
  4. Refrigerate 2-3 days
Greek-style lemon potatoes
  • 2½ lbs potatoes (starchy)
  • 1½ cups chicken stock, low sodium
  • ½ cup  olive oil
  • ⅓ cup lemon juice
  • 5 garlic cloves , minced
  • 1 tbsp dried oregano
  • 2 tsp salt
  1. Preheat oven to 390
  2. Peel potatoes and cut into thick wedges
  3. Place in a bowl with all the other ingredients. Toss well.
  4. Transfer to a roasting pan and roast at 400 for 20 minutes. Turn potatoes, roast for a further 25-30 minutes until the liquid is mostly absorbed by potatoes/evaporated and you're left with mainly oil in the pan.
  5. Transfer potatoes to a separate tray. Tilt the original roasting pan and scoop off as much of the oil as you can (some juices is ok), then drizzle over the potatoes.
  6. Transfer potatoes back to oven and roast for 20-25 minutes, turning once or twice, until potatoes are golden and a bit crispy.
  7. Return the pan with the garlic juices to the oven for the last 5 - 10 minutes or so to reduce down and make the garlic golden.
Quiche crust
  • 1 large egg
  • 2½ tbsp ice water
  • 1½ cups all-purpose flour
  • ½ tsp salt
  • 10 tbsp unsalted butter, sliced into small cubes
  1. In a small mixing bowl, whisk together the egg and ice water. Set the bowl aside
  2. In the bowl of a food processor, add the flour and salt. Pulse briefly until mixed.  Add in the the cubed butter pieces and pulse until the mixture resembles coarse meal. Add in the egg/ice-water mixture. Pulse again until dough forms.
  3. Transfer the dough onto a lightly-floured board. Roll out the crust so that it fits the measurements of your pan or dish. Lay the rolled out dough onto the top of the pan. Using your hands, gently press the dough into place. Slice off any extra dough that’s hanging over the rim of the pan or dish.
  4. Stick the quiche pan with the dough into the freezer for approximately 20-25 minutes or longer.
  5. Preheat your oven to 450
  6. Line the unpricked pastry shell with heavy-duty foil to weighs down the crust
  7. Bake for 8 minutes at 450
  8. Remove the foil then bake 5 to 6 minutes more or until lightly browned
  9. Remove again and lower your oven to 350
  10. Add filling to the crust. Bake at 350 45-60 minutes or until a knife comes out clean.
Smoked salmon chowder
  • olive oil
  • 3 tablespoons butter
  • 1 medium yellow onion, diced
  • 2 stalks celery, diced
  • 6 cloves garlic, minced
  • ¼ teaspoon fennel seeds
  • 2 bay leaves
  • ½ teaspoon dried basil
  • 4 teaspoons low sodium Old Bay seasoning
  • 2 ½ -3 ½ cups stock (fish, shrimp, or chicken)
  • 1 (15 ounce) can diced tomatoes
  • 2 tbsp tomato paste
  • 2 tbsp capers + 1 tablespoon brine
  • 1lb. potatoes, diced (Yukon gold or russet)
  • 4 oz. shrimp (chopped or use salad shrimp)
  • hot smoked salmon, roughly diced into pieces
  • 4 ounce cream cheese
  • 1 cup heavy cream
  1. In a large pot, add the oil and butter and cook the onion and celery until it becomes translucent.
  2. then add the garlic and herbs and spices to wake them up a bit.
  3. when it's smelling like everything is warmed up add the stock, diced tomatoes, tomato paste, and capers and brine. Stir to incorporate.
  4. Then add the potatoes, shrimp and salmon and cook on med-low simmering for an hour or so.
  5. When the potatoes soften and their edges round off it's ready.
  6. Before serving stir in the 4 ounces of cream cheese and 1 cup of heavy cream until fully incorporated and heated.
Tzatziki Sauce
  • 1 english cucumber
  • 1 tsp kosher salt
  • 4 to 5 garlic cloves, peeled, finely grated or minced
  • 1 tsp white vinegar
  • 1 tbsp good olive oil
  • 2 cups Greek yogurt
  1. Peel, slice, and grate the cucumber. Toss with ½ tsp kosher salt. Transfer to a fine mesh strainer over a deep bowl to drain. Spoon the grated cucumber into a cheese cloth or a double thickness napkin and squeeze dry. Set aside briefly.
  2. In a large mixing bowl, place the garlic with remaining ½ tsp salt, white vinegar, and extra virgin olive oil. Mix to combine.
  3. 3. Add the grated cucumber to the large bowl with the garlic mixture. Stir in the yogurt and white pepper. Combine thoroughly. Cover tightly and refrigerate for a couple of hours.
  4. 4. When ready to serve, stir the tzatziki sauce to refresh and transfer to serving bowl, drizzle with more extra virgin olive oil before serving.

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